Friendship in adulthood: how many hours it takes to make a friend
Social Connection
Key points
- About 50 hours together: casual friend; about 90: friend; 200+: close friend.
- Not just time but content matters: conversation, shared activities, support.
- Strong social ties: about 50% higher odds of survival.
- Regularity helps: a weekly meetup or class.
How much time it takes
Communication researcher Jeffrey Hall at the University of Kansas studied adults who had recently moved and students starting college. He estimated that it takes about 50 hours together to move from acquaintance to casual friend, about 90 hours to become a friend and more than 200 hours to become a close friend. Time spent joking, catching up and having meaningful conversations mattered more than time spent working side by side (Hall, 2019).
Why it matters for health
People with stronger social relationships had about 50% higher odds of survival (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010), and loneliness and isolation are linked to higher mortality (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2015). The U.S. Surgeon General has called loneliness a public health epidemic.
How to build friendships
- Join something that meets regularly: a class, club, team, choir or volunteer group.
- Say yes to invitations and follow up with people you like.
- Suggest a specific plan: “Coffee next Tuesday?”
- Be patient; friendship builds over months.
Frequently asked questions
Why is it harder to make friends as an adult?
Fewer settings bring people together repeatedly and casually, like school did. Creating that regularity helps.
Does online time count?
Some, but in-person time and meaningful conversation were more strongly linked to closeness.
Sources
- Hall (2019). How many hours does it take to make a friend?. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 36(4):1278-1296. doi:10.1177/0265407518761225
- Holt-Lunstad et al. (2010). Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review. PLoS Medicine 7(7):e1000316. doi:10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316
- Holt-Lunstad et al. (2015). Loneliness and Social Isolation as Risk Factors for Mortality. Perspectives on Psychological Science 10(2):227-237. doi:10.1177/1745691614568352
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